in the beginning

"Where is my mind?" is something that I find myself thinking on a fairly regular basis at the moment. Along with "I can't do this", "I'm going to die" and "how can I get out of this?"

Part of me blames the time of year. Bloody January and it's way of making you set yourself goals and challenges, thinking about fresh starts and hoping that this year is the year that everything will fall into place. I'm all for setting goals and all that malarkey, but I have always had this habit of pushing myself that little bit further than I am probably capable of.

In previous years this stupidity has seen me join a gym, apply for a job I didn't think I could do, or face my fear of flying and then get on a plane and fly to the States alone. In all honesty, most of these goals (minus the gym) have actually worked out pretty well for me. If nothing else, I am a stubborn woman and I refuse to be beaten or to let fear and anxiety control my life. This year though, I have surpassed myself and decided to go to Morocco and do this trek through the Atlas Mountains.

It all started a few months ago when this article, written by my mother, was published in the local paper, marking the start of the James Hopkins Trust 'Overnight Campaign'. A few days later, I was talking to one of my colleagues who had seen the article and we agreed that we would try to come up with some kind of way to raise a little bit of money for the campaign.

Cut to the return to work after new year and an email popping into my inbox from said colleague with 'an idea'. My first reaction was laughter, she must be mental. I mean, has she met me? But the more I thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. Not only would we hopefully raise a decent amount of money for the Overnight Campaign, but I would have something to focus on and keep me motivated to get fit and healthy, and of course I would have the experience of going to Morocco. Everyone is a winner.

Last week Ms Motivator (as she shall henceforth be known) and I met for lunch and officially shook hands and agreed that we were going to do this. Ms Motivator is a youngster (a mere 22 to my almost 29) and full of enthusiasm and excitement, which can be contagious, and she is full of ideas for fundraising and raising as much cash as we can for JHT.

Since then, I have started 'training', going to the gym twice last week and attempting a walk today (alas, without the proper footwear it was a muddy, slippery disaster and the attempt was abandoned). Tomorrow after work I have plans to go to the gym again, and while I often have my moments of panic and am filled with horror at the prospect of just how daunting this challenge is, currently I am feeling positive.

I have created this blog to track progress and the ups and downs that the next 9 months will inevitably bring. I'm not kidding myself and thinking that this will be easy, but I do have 9 months to get myself into some kind of shape and not doing anything stupid and klutz-like (as is my habit). If anyone sees me on a crazy-golf course in the near future, drag me away kicking and screaming, ok? No extreme sports for Soph's this year.

For now, I will leave this here - as I am a regular gym-goer now, I am clearly allowed a guilt free piece of the toffee and honeycomb dessert I bought in M&S earlier today and I can hear it calling my name from the kitchen...