A final farewell from the two blondes

And so, our adventure is over.

Photos and stories have been shared, the bruises have faded and the niggling injuries are starting to heal. The last few sponsors have been 'nudged' for the cash they promised us and we now have a total of £4870 plus over £800 gift aid.

Our fundraising page doesn't expire until the end of the year and will remain open for donations 'til then, but our work here is pretty much done.

It has been one hell of a year, full of ups and downs.

I'm not sure I would say that the trek was life-changing, but this year in general has been pretty epic and of course our charity challenge had its role to play in that.

Watch out, here comes the sappy bit.

Aside from raising so much money for a cause so close to my heart, the best thing I can say that I've got from this whole experience is a wonderful friend in Katie. I'm not sure there is anyone else I could have gone through this with and had the friendship survive intact. Her always positive, can-do attitude balanced out my glass-half-empty approach to life perfectly, and I could always rely on her to keep me motivated. From the first day of training to the last day of the trek, she was right there with me, kicking my ass and giving me hugs in equal measure as and when required.

I've said thank you to all of you on many occasions, and I am incredibly grateful to all of you for your unending support. But the one person I have neglected to thank is my lovely Katie.

So... thank you my friend. This trek (in fact, this year in general) would not have been half as much fun without you. Despite all the stress/pain/exhaustion, I have had an absolute blast. I still can't believe we actually did it, and I'm so proud of both of us, but I'm particularly proud of you. You are wonderful, and I look forward to our catch-up lunch soon. You don't get rid of me that easy.

It's been fun, guys. Thanks for reading. There may be a new blog from me in the near future, since I have enjoyed getting back into blogging again. But for now, I have a new flat to move into and friends to catch up with.

The Two Blondes took on their mountain, and they survived. Not only that, they raised over £5000 for the James Hopkins Trust's Overnight Campaign.

Pretty freaking cool, no?

if everything could ever feel this real forever

As I finally sit down to write this post, it is already more than a week since we finished our trek to the top of Jebel Toubkal in the High Atlas Mountains. I'm told I have a gift for the written word, but when it comes to describing Toubkal, I'm not sure any words will be good enough.

That being said, I have been keeping this blog (mostly) up to date since January, so I shall give it my best.

I'm not sure I really knew what I was signing up for when Katie convinced me to do this. It was perhaps a little naive, having had no real trekking experience before, and no real fitness to speak of. But I believe the wording in the literature said that it was 'tough' but do-able if you had a healthy lifestyle and trained regularly for 3 months beforehand. And I figured, well, I can do that right? If I train for 9 months then surely I'd be fine, no stress.

I don't think I'm alone from our group of 16 in thinking that the trek was harder than any of us had imagined. I'm fairly sure that they brushed over just how difficult the terrain would be at points, and when it said 'some bouldering', I certainly underestimated what that would mean. I wrote pages and pages of notes in my book during the trip, but I will try to keep the reciting of events to a minimum.

The first day was pretty much fine. All uphill, obviously, but we started at a reasonable hour after a good breakfast at the hotel and a 2 hour drive to the starting point. The sun was shining, it was warm but not unbearable and we were all feeling positive about the days ahead.

I think I only really had one period of 'I can't do this' on that first day, which was my own fault for slacking on keeping myself going with food I think. I started to feel very low on energy and the refuge was still a long way in the distance. But that didn't last, and with Katie singing 'just keep swimming' at me, and the refuge eventually on the horizon, I gave myself a mental talking to and pulled it together.

After a decent dinner and an early night (seriously, we all went to bed at like, 9pm), I was ready to face the big challenge of the summit on day two, even if it meant a terrifyingly early 5am wake-up call.

I'm not sure I can quite find the words to explain day two. Most of us woke feeling nervous I think, and breakfast was difficult for us to stomach at such an early hour. We soon heard that two of our group, Aileen and Kirsteen, would not be coming with us due to altitude sickness and they would be leaving within the next couple of hours to get back to the village where they could hopefully recover.

Katie casually mentioned that she didn't feel so great. She spoke to our guide and medic, Gwynn, but she seemed pretty determined that she would be coming to the summit. As I was about to get booted up, I went to check on her and found her in tears. She was not in a good way, she had fainted, and she was in no state to climb a mountain.

Feelings at this point are hard to describe. I've gotten to know Katie pretty well over the last nine months, there is nothing quite like needing to raise £3100 and then climb a mountain with a person to bring you together. I'm not sure about Katie, but I hadn't really contemplated one of us not being there at the summit, and the thought of having to face the whole ordeal without my buddy was almost unbearable. Seeing her upset broke my heart, and as I left her to go get ready for the climb, I was a bit of an emotional wreck myself.

With Katie at the front of my thoughts, and the cover of my 'bible', 'keep calm and carry on', on my mind, I knew I had no choice but to do exactly that. I was not prepared for what we were to face for the next almost six hours. It was constant and unrelenting; boulders to climb over and negotiate, scree to avoid slipping on. I wasn't sure about taking them initially, but without the walking poles, I would have been lost. The higher we got, the colder it became. After a couple of hours, to my horror, I discovered that my water had frozen. (Credit for photos to Neelam and King Louie, from whom these photos are 'borrowed')

There was only one way to get through it. Focussing on putting one foot in front of the other, taking it in tiny small chunks and not thinking about the bigger picture. My heart sank at one point when someone told me that we weren't even halfway; progress was incredibly slow in those first few hours and if I ever had any doubts about my ability to reach the summit, this was when it really took hold. I called upon some of the messages from my book, one in particular, which reminded me why I was doing this and inspired me to keep going.

Eventually, just before midday, we spotted our destination through the mist and knew that within half an hour, we would be there. That gave me the boost I needed and I powered onwards, barely feeling the cold anymore at all. And then, suddenly, there it was. We'd done it. There were no views to speak of because the weather was so appalling, but we were at the top of Toubkal, no doubt about it, and it felt almost surreal. Hugs were exchanged, photos were taken (with credit to again Neelam and King Louie, from whom most of these photos were 'borrowed'):

(that's me in the distance there)

(you can just see me at the back there)

You may notice that I look a little... blue. I have to say that I didn't actually realise just how cold I was in the end, I just seemed to stop feeling it. I was shocked when I got a good look at the photograph, which was only after pretty much the first words out of my girlfriends mouth when I eventually got to speak to her were... "you were blue!!"

Once the photos were taken and we had gathered ourselves, there was only one thing to be done. Start the descent. I won't bore you with all the details of this bit, but what I will tell you is that going down a mountain is so much harder than climbing up one. I had clearly used up the largest part of my energy getting to the summit, and as we started to walk back down I realised that my legs really didn't want to hold me up anymore. Let's just say I fell at least a dozen times. Ski slopes of scree are not my specialty, especially when my legs have decided "nope, done enough work today I'm having no more of this" and given in. I needed the support of our guides and a lovely member of our group, Kate, to make it to the refuge in one piece.

I believe that by the time we got back to the refuge we had been on the go for almost 10 hours, and the remaining part of the day was spent eating and trying to rest up for the final descent on day three.

You would think that day three would have been the easy one, but for me this wasn't the case. In one of my dozen or so falls the previous day, I had twisted my knee and it was giving me a little 'jip'. It was a long 5/6 hour walk back down that mountain and a lot of it was torture and I just kept on walking. The flat, smooth bits of the path were fine, but as you can probably imagine, when walking down a mountain those types of paths are few and far between! As I put more and more strain on my knee, it got progressively more and more painful and it was incredibly frustrating for me as I tried and pretty much failed to keep up with the majority of the group. As on the previous day, I wouldn't have got through it without the support of our wonderful guides and other members of the group who would frequently check up on me, or stop to help me step down from particularly large or tricky boulders.

Finally, finally, finally we reached the village that marked our (almost) finish line, where we stopped for lunch. It was at this point that Katie once again emerged from the guest house she had been put up in with two of the other girls, and my God was she ever a sight for sore eyes. I pretty much launched myself at her for hugs and immediately felt better for being back with my buddy. After lunch and a catch up, we walked the final half hour or so to the bus, and returned exhausted to Marrakech.

The group we were with were amazing, and to be honest they probably deserve a blog post all of their own. But instead, I will share with you this group photo:

Even as I sit here now and recap, it does not seem real, though I'm sure it will sink in eventually. It was, without doubt, one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I definitely think we underestimated how tough it would be; we were perhaps a little naive. But we did it, and I couldn't be more proud of us.

Currently, our fundraising total stands at a pretty magnificent £4710, though I have a bunch of people who wrote on our sponsor form who haven't paid up yet, so I'm hoping that we'll add a good wee amount to that yet. When you take into account Gift Aid (of which I think we raised approximately £800), then we're looking at a grand total of well over £5000 which is more than Katie and I could have ever dreamed of.

So it is done. Our amazing adventure is over and not much remains to be said other than thank you. To every single one of you. Without you we could never have raised as much money as we have for the James Hopkins Trust and we just can't thank you enough. Not only have you been incredibly generous financially, but you have indulged us in our many random and ridiculous fundraising endeavours, you have read countless entries of my blog and put up with post after post on Facebook asking you to give us money.

You are all my heroes. Thank you.

And that almost brings an end to this blog. Now our challenge is complete, there is really nothing more to be said. I have perhaps one final entry planned, and that will be that.

For now, this is half of the two blondes, signing off.

keep calm and carry on

This is my bible:

I will be using it to write while I am away, because I will be lost without any means to write. However, it now also contains some useful quotes in readiness for times of need, some messages of support from friends and family, and some useful bits of advice from my girlfriend. Highlights include "don't fall off", "stay away from scorpions" a mini episode of the Archers (written by Jo) in case I miss it while I'm away, and my personal favourite, this: 

You see, I can't pack for shit. My spatial awareness does not exist. So I've just spent the last couple of hours sitting quietly and trying not to get in the way as Jo somehow managed to get all of my kit into my rucksack. Because she isn't coming with me, she has drawn me the above handy diagram so that I know how to pack ready to come home.

I am really that crap, and she really is that good to me. We haven't really been apart from more than one night before, so six days is going to be quite the wrench for me. She's the best.

Generally, now my kit is packed, I'm feeling ok. People have been amazingly generous and we're now almost at £4400. My dad told me today that if we include gift aid in that, we've cracked the £5000 mark. It's mind blowing. And I can't thank you enough.

There is of course still time to sponsor us. A huge thank you to those who have done so today, you guys are the best.

The rest of you can make a huge difference to JHT by heading to our sponsorship page here.

the final countdown

I've had a pretty good few days. This weekend Jo and I went to Malvern to get in one final big hill walk before the trip. We walked 25 miles across 2 days, covering pretty much the length of the Malvern Hills and climbing over 4000ft (not all at once, there was a lot of walking up and down then up again). I did all of this while carrying a fairly heavy pack on my back, so overall I was pretty pleased with how the weekend went. Not only that, but we managed to escape the rain completely, and this morning as I crawled out of bed to head to work, I felt achey but pretty positive.

I got a few photos, like this one: 

Today was a pretty freaking good day too, as we managed to go past our target of £4000. In fact, we are now at an astounding £4197, which is incredibly exciting and a huge motivator for me, and I'm sure for Katie too.

My plan now, with only 4 days and 3 hours to go until D-Day, is to head to the gym after work tomorrow to do one last session on the treadmill, but that will be it then. The rest of the week will be spent preparing/packing/last minute panic-buying. And finalising my mountain playlist of course. All suggestions still welcome.

On top of all of that, we found out today that we have a flat inspection on Wednesday, so I have to get back to cleaning the flat for now...

Still time for sponsor us, here.

a call to arms

Firstly, an apology to all the people I made cry when they read my previous post! And a big thank you to all who have sent me feedback and words of love, I really appreciate all of your kind messages.

Which brings me to the subject of today’s post. We need YOU.

We are well into the final countdown now, with only 10 days to go until we fly to Morocco. Katie and I are busy with final preparations, making last minute purchases and generally flitting between excitement and terror on an almost hourly basis.

Katie and I work well together, despite (or because of) the fact that we are almost polar opposites. She is bright and cheery, she is Ms Motivator, always positive and upbeat. I am… well, none of those things. One thing we do have in common though, is a love of music. Music is one of the most important things in the world to me, has got me through some of the toughest times of my life. So in these last few days before we head off, I am looking to pull together a list of motivational songs that we can call on when we need that little extra push up the mountain. Katie has already advised that she is planning to sing most of the way up (I had a full rendition of Survivor by Destiny’s Child last night, apparently our anthem), but what we need from you is some suggestions for other songs we can add to our list. It can be anything you consider to be appropriate, whether they will inspire or just plain make us laugh. Suggestions from a colleague this morning included Ain’t No Mountain, and Katie is also keen on ‘she’ll be coming round the mountain…’.

I was given another idea today that requires your assistance. It was suggested that we should ask people to write us some notes or messages of support and motivation that we can call upon when times get tough. If you should feel so inclined, you can send a note to sophhopkins84@gmail.com or katherinefionaparker@gmail.com and we can take them with us.

I have also promised to try and keep updating Twitter and Facebook as much as possible while I'm away. I don't know what internet access will be like, but if you tweet, feel free to follow me on twitter @sophhopkins.

And now it is time for me to start researching high calorie snack bars. The fun just never stops...

panic on the streets of Cheltenham

anx·i·e·ty

noun, distress or uneasiness of mind caused by fear of danger or misfortune

If there is one subject I am an expert on, it’s anxiety (and 20^th century history, but that’s irrelevant at the moment).

Anxiety is my mortal enemy, it has plagued my life for the last 10 years. At times, it has been my only constant, my only friend, and the perfect excuse to hide from the world and not even try. It destroyed my life when I left University and had a breakdown. It took me a long time to fight my way back from that; I couldn’t eat, sleep, leave the house or even be on my own for more than a few minutes at a time. It controlled every inch of me.

You think you know me. You think I’m just a bit of a miserable cow, you tell me to smile, cheer up, it might never happen. You tell me to just chill out. But you don’t know me. You don’t know what I have been through, the crippling depression I have dealt with (and still often do). You don’t know how often I find it hard to even get out of bed in the morning, or do the things I have to in order to lead a ‘normal’ life.

I can go months without feeling any anxiety at all. It lulls you into this false sense of security, to the point where you think you’ve got the bastard beaten, though you never really do. You think you’re coping fine and then suddenly you realise that you have pushed yourself too hard, things are starting to overwhelm you and you have to take some kind of action before things get out of hand again. I’m good at picking up on those signs now, and I am always prepared to do what needs to be done to stop myself from spiralling.

So you see, I know anxiety. I know how it feels, I recognise the signs, that familiar lump in my throat, that weight on my chest and sense of unreality as my breathing gets quicker and my head starts to spin. I know what causes it, what tiny little thoughts I didn’t even realise had passed through my brain to trigger the overwhelming feeling of ‘oh my god I have got to run away I cannot do this, I cannot do this, I cannot do this…’

Those thoughts have been creeping in over the last couple of weeks as the day gets ever closer. There are so many things to worry about, all building up to overwhelm me. I’m scared of flying. I’m worried about food. I’m worried about being in a foreign country for 6 days. I’m worried I’m not fit enough, that I won’t make it to the top. I’m terrified that I will have an anxiety attack halfway up the mountain. I’m scared I will be affected by altitude sickness. I’m scared of letting Katie down, of letting down the people who have sponsored us. Basically, I’m just plain worried.

The other day I went to the gym and anxiety stopped me from doing more than half an hour on the treadmill. Today at work I started to panic about all the things I still have to do to get ready, the equipment I need to get, the things I need to organise and the training I still need to do. I’ve been getting overwhelmed again, and as much as I know how to deal with that, there is always that initial period of sticking my head in the sand and trying to avoid, avoid, avoid, until I realise what I’m doing and give myself a mental slap round the face. So today I started to get my act together, had lunch with Katie, talked through a few things and started to formulate a plan of action.  

This is a difficult post to write, because even as I sit here and type I can feel the familiar tightening in my throat as anxiety takes over. But you see there is something I have learned in these last 10 years and that is to “just keep swimming”. I read a lot of self-help books during my many attempts at recovery and a lot of it was useless toss, but there was one phrase which has stuck with me more than any other and has swiftly become my motto for life; feel the fear and do it anyway.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

It works, you know. In the years since I adopted that motto I have conquered my fear of flying (mostly), before getting on a plane alone and flying to the States. I’ve applied for jobs I didn’t think I could get, and got them. I’ve put myself through the torture of internet dating (albeit very briefly) and meeting new people. I have stopped running away from a relationship that means a lot to me and finally allowed myself to be happy. And I’ve signed up with a friend to trek through the Atlas Mountains in Morocco in 15 days.

I’ve been through a lot these last 10 years, but I sit here now, 29 years old and a stronger person than I have ever been. A happier person that I have ever been. Anxiety has arguably never had less control over my life. And you know what, I’m going to make it to the top of this mountain and I’m going to stand there with a dear friend and I’m going to say this: ‘fuck you, anxiety. I made it’.  

Feel the fear, and do it anyway. 

Try it. I dare you

18 days to go

18 days to go.

Plans for this weekend didn't quite go as we had hoped, but I did manage to fit in a trip to the gym yesterday followed by a 10 mile walk from Nailsworth to Stroud and back again today. It was a pretty good walk; lots of hills and at times it was painful but by the time we got back I was still feeling pretty good on it. I was a little worried because one of the friends we went with would stride ahead at speed, but I kept to my own pace and refused to rush. In a few weeks I'm doing this three days running and stamina is what's going to matter most, not who can get to the top first. It wasn't great for my morale, but I'm sure I'll get over it.

So, with so little time to go now, Jo has been pushing me to go to the gym or walk every day after work. Already this is proving difficult, because we have an appointment to look at a flat tomorrow (we are desperate to move now - slight issues with our current place making it difficult to put up with being here). But hopefully we'll be done at the flat early enough to make it possible to head up Leckhampton Hill, and I'll try to get to the gym Wednesday or Thursday.

This week I also need to sit down and really read the itinerary for the trip and all the boring crap like that. I've been avoiding it for weeks now, but I guess now is the time to stop living in denial and get myself ready. That also means shopping for some bits for my kit (clothes, mainly). There is just too much to do and not enough time to fit it in.

Panic, panic, panic, panic...

there goes the fear

I've mentioned this before, but I'm a determined (stubborn) woman.

This evening I had my Typhoid and Hep A injections.

I am so glad that's over.

I'll be back with a proper update soon, but for now, I think me facing my fears means I deserve some sponsorship... Sponsor us here.

Thanks

x

the fear is here

It seems like only yesterday I wrote this post about my fear of needles and shared with you the many embarrassing tales of freak-outs and 'incidents' that litter my past. This morning the moment I have been avoiding for almost 8 months arrived and with a little bit of 'mothering' I finally stopped procrastinating and booked an appointment to have my 'urghs' (Hep A and Typhoid).

My appointment is next Wednesday evening, and there will be no getting out of it unless my boss tells me I can't leave the office early (please, please, please...). Unfortunately, my partner is more terrified of needles than me (hence referring to them as 'urghs'; you can't utter the word in her presence), and while she has very sweetly said she will drive me to my appointment (I wasn't even expecting that...), she can't come in with me to hold my hand. I am therefore hoping that Ms Motivator will be able to come with me, as we are due to go on to the travel clinic just afterwards to talk about altitude sickness and other such exciting things. And, well, last time I had an injection I had to be physically pushed into the room. Ahem.

We leave for Morocco a month tomorrow. Look to the countdown in the sidebar, it's a frighteningly low number. Training is going alright, on Saturday Jo and I covered about 15 miles and last night we did a tiny, tiny, less than 2 mile walk up a hill. Even if I only cover small distances, my aim is to keep doing exercise on consecutive days. As ever, life keeps getting in the way, but any training I do now is something, at least.

Fundraising is looking healthy. Current total as I type is £3620. Katie and I would really appreciate it if you would help get that figure to £4000.

While talking to some colleagues at lunch the other day, we had a genius fundraising idea. Sadly I don't think it's something we could organise in the few short weeks left until the trek, and I'm not sure even my 'charm' and sweet-talking skills could have made it happen. Basically, my plan was to get senior members of staff to agree to let people pay £1 to throw wet sponges at them. After all, who wouldn't want to throw a sponge at a director?

Unfortunately, the directors weren't too keen on my plan and I had firm 'no's' from the Chair, Deputy Clinical Chair, Governance Manager and Engagement bod. Personally, I think this is very short-sighted of them, as a sure way to win the respect of your team would be to join in the fun for a good cause. But oh well. I probably won't give up on the idea and will try to get something going for after the trek. Two people have said they will do it, but they aren't quite senior enough. I'm aiming high, I want a director!

A few days ago I told you I was feeling cautiously optimistic. Today I would describe as 'determined'. Once I set my mind to something, I do not fail. A couple of weeks ago, someone in a meeting described me (jokingly), as a Rottweiler. My aim for the next month is to keep that in my mind, remember that I never fail, and just keep swimming (or, uh, walking).

I'm going to keep on writing as regularly as possible for the next few weeks, giving you updates and keeping this trek in your mind, in the hope that it inspires you to put your hands in your pockets to donate.

The two blondes fundraising page can be found here. Spread the word!

this one's optimistic?

Apart from the odd couple of days of rain and misery, the weather has been absolutely beautiful since Jo and I got back from our holiday. For what feels like the first time in years, we've had a bit of a 'summer', so I have been making the most of the sunshine and getting a lot of walking done.

Even on days when exercise is the last thing I want to do, Jo and I will force ourselves to go on a walk. If possible, we will walk up a hill, but the walking is the bit that matters most, so even wandering around in Bristol last weekend was beneficial (Bristol, after all, is not exactly flat) and the walk up to my aunt's house where we were staying was painful but great for the training.

I haven't been to the gym much, because I have just felt the need to get out in the sunshine, but I'm trying to get into a routine of doing exercises before bed each evening, including sit-ups, squats etc. We'll see how that goes, but I'm sure with Jo nagging me I'll keep going. She is the one who keeps me going, she comes on walks with me all the time, she pushes me to work hard, she soothes my fears and panics. I don't know what I'd do without her. But don't tell her I said that, she'll get a big head.

With 35 days to go, I am flitting between nervousness, excitement, frustration and a hundred other feelings. I have had days when I've felt so overwhelmed I don't know what to do with myself. When I do have those moments, Katie or Jo will calm me down. I don't really know how Katie is feeling about everything at the moment, life has been so hectic for both of us I feel like we've been a little out of touch, even though we talk at work all the time. We are supposed to have lunch together next week, so I'm looking forward to that.

My weekend plans involve a big walk, and after work this evening we did a short 2.68 mile 'stroll'. I put in a call to my GP surgery, asking a nurse to call me to discuss what jabs I need. As yet, she hasn't called, so I need to be brave and chase that up next week. And I also made an appointment to talk about altitude sickness and other such things at the travel clinic.

I am starting to pull all the equipment together that I need.

Our current total stands at just under £3400.

Today is a day I feel cautiously optimistic.

the great escape

The countdown now reads 61 days to go. It feels like only a couple of weeks ago when Katie called me up and convinced me to do this trip, so my mind is a little blown by the fact that we have mere weeks left til D Day.

Just before I went away, I started to pull together all the stuff I needed from the kit list supplied. So far I have purchased my walking boots (bought in January and thoroughly worn in), my waterproof jacket and my main rucksack. As for the rest of the equipment I need, I'm planning to try to beg, steal or borrow as much as possible. I'd really appreciate it if you could take a look at the list here and let me know if there is anything you can help with.

I'm particularly keen to borrow the following: 

• walking poles 
• day rucksack 
• head torch 

Training is of course the main focus for both of us at the moment. I am trying my best to remain upbeat, but it isn't always easy and I have my moments of panic. I felt pretty bad going away for 10 days and not going to the gym or doing any proper training, but we walked pretty much everywhere so I still managed to put a lot of miles in. It was an absolutely beautiful holiday, I never wanted it to end. 

Hill walking in Munich: 

Last weekend I got back into proper training mode and went to Chepstow with my flatmate where we walked the Offa's Dyke trail. It was a pretty tough walk, with numerous steep inclines and even some boulders to negotiate. It was perfect for training really. 

boulders we climbed over...

Look at the view from the top! So worth it.

On Monday I checked in with Tom, the PT who has been helping me. We went through all the exercises, made a few adjustments and I went back on Thursday for another go. I'm feeling good for the most part, though I've had a couple of small, niggling injuries. I did another walk today (only 6 miles, but my God was it hot) and at one point I did have to stop walking completely because I felt a strain in my foot, but after a few minutes rest it eased up and I feel better now. I think perhaps I should have worn my walking boots rather than my converse, but it was so hot I couldn't face walking around in them all afternoon. I have however learned my lesson and will be more sensible next time.

Now is the time to step things up another gear and start to ensure I put in some form of exercise every day. There just seems to be so much happening that training takes a back seat and I can't keep allowing that to happen. From this point on, exercise has to take precedence over everything. I have a lot of weekend commitments coming up over the next couple of months, but this is key training time for me so I'm going to have to start saying no. I made my first big sacrifice last week when I made the decision that I will be skipping Brighton Pride this year. That sort of breaks my heart, but there is always next year and I can use that weekend for some vital training time.

Fundraising has taken a back seat over the last few weeks. Of course, with our minimum target met there is a certain amount of relief that we've made it. And I can't thank you all enough for the support in raising so much. But we really want to raise more, and you will notice in the sidebar that we've now raised our target to £4000. A lot of people have told me that they plan to sponsor us but just haven't got round to it yet. Please, please, please, take a couple of minutes to visit our fundraising page and donate a few pennies.

Both of us appreciate your support more than I can say. The going can get pretty tough at times, but we have so many people in our corner, supporting us, motivating us and giving us the push we need to keep on going.

On a brief side note, the wonderful families of the JHT kids have organised their annual Summer Fete which takes place at our premises, Kites Corner, next Sunday 21st July from 1-4pm. Please do come along if you can. Find out more here.

it's not over yet

I am about to go away for a couple of weeks on a much needed holiday, but I feel I should write a brief update before I go. After all, those with a keen eye (or who look at my facebook), will realise that we reached our target of £3100 last week. Of course we are not stopping now and have increased our target to £4000, but I do feel a sense of relief being able to go on holiday and not worry about the fundraising side of things.

We held a quiz at work last week and it seemed to go really well. I was stressed to hell and wouldn't have got through it without the aid of some of my colleagues who came to my rescue when I realised just how disorganised I was (I hadn't considered food until the day before), but much fun was had by all (mostly) and it was worth all the stress to get home and realise we were only £60 off our target. One of my favourite people then sponsored us £60 in order to take us to the magic £3100.

Fitness can now take complete priority, which I admit I'm worried about, especially as I'm about to go on holiday and therefore not go to the gym for 2 weeks. Having said that, I am clearly getting stronger because I carried heavy things on the weekend and was proud of myself for my 'butchness', and of course I will be carrying my rucksack around and walking lots while we're in Munich/Zagreb. I keep saying I will keep doing press ups and squats each day while I'm away, but I'm probably kidding myself there...

See you in a couple of weeks. Feel free to carry on sponsoring us while I'm away.

wish you were here

My week so far without Katie has been unrelenting. The next few days promise no let up whatsoever. 

Last Tuesday I met up again with Tom, the Personal Trainer, who gave me a programme to help build up my strength. From now on the plan is that I do circuits twice a week (currently involved press ups, pull ups, squats, the plank, step ups etc.) and if everything goes according to plan, a third visit would be spent doing cardio. Of course, on top of that I also have to keep walking up lots of hills and preparing as best I can for September.

All things considered, I think my first session went well. I woke the next morning to my entire body screaming out in pain, which I take as a good sign. They may be simple exercises, but they are exercises I've not really done before, so I was always going to suffer. Life got in the way for the rest of the week and I didn't have plans to return to the gym until the weekend. Sadly, the heavy rain meant I got no hill walking done, and a pulled muscle (crossing a road outside a pub on Saturday night) meant that my plan to go to the gym on Sunday morning had to be abandoned.

I went after work today and managed two circuits (minus the squats which were just hurting my leg too much), before I felt my leg really starting to pull when I began the third circuit with step-ups, so I decided to quit while I was ahead and call it a day. My plan is to take it easy tomorrow and try again on Wednesday. It's hard to find a balance between keeping up the momentum and not making things worse... that's something I have always struggled with.

The good thing is, a lot of the exercises don't require any equipment, so I can do some of them at home, even when I don't have time to go to the gym. It's handy that my flatmate is so short, because I can use the stool from the kitchen she needs to reach food in the cupboards to do step ups etc.

I've been spending a lot of time preparing for the quiz. It looks like we will have about 70 people there (if everyone who has said they are coming shows up), so it promises to be a good night. With a little help from my flatmate I have been writing the questions over the last few days. I've also procured a trophy, and a small prize for the best team name, so all I need now is a prize for the winners. And of course to buy some food for the evening. I am fairly stressed about it, but flatmate is keeping me as calm as possible. I will be glad to have Katie back on Thursday (D-Day), as she is far better at organising than me and I sort of need her to take over.

Once the quiz is done, my focus will switch to a little R&R, as I head off on a much needed fortnight's holiday. I imagine there will be plenty of walking done during that time (4 nights in Munich, 4 nights on Zagreb), and of course I can be good and keep up with the press ups etc (yeah, right).

88 days to go. On the weekend I started to give thought to equipment, and I invested in some of the more important items I will be needed - a waterproof coat and a rucksack. In the next couple of weeks I will share with you our kit-list, because as much as possible I would prefer to beg, steal, or borrow most of the other stuff we apparently need. If you have any of those items and wouldn't mind lending them to me (or Katie) for a while, then please do drop me a line. It would be hugely appreciated.

You know what else we appreciate? YOUR SPONSORSHIP. Go on, you know you want to...

www.bmycharity.com/twoblondesonemountain

wonderful, glorious

Less than 100 days to go until D-Day and things are hotting up. Since my last update, we've been incredibly busy with training and fundraising, and I am excited to announce that we have surpassed our first target (sort of). 

Katie and I are putting our own money in to cover the cost of expenses like flights and accommodation, so that every penny people donate to the trek goes directly to JHT. We've been doing this bit by bit over the last few months and we each have another £200 to put in next month. This means that while our running total currently stands at £2732, with our final payment included we actually have gone past £3100. I don't think either of us expected to have raised so much with 3 months still to go, but we don't intend to stop now. We want to raise as much as we can for the Trust, and with many people still promising to sponsor us closer to the time, hopefully we can keep the momentum going and raise a lot more.

Our next fundraising event is a quiz we are holding at work on the 20th June. Ms Motivator is off on her holidays this week however, so I shall be running the show on this one, which is rather terrifying seeing as I rely on Katie to be the organised, sensible one. But as soon as I'm done here my plan is to get the quiz written, and the week ahead will be spent chasing colleagues for confirmation about whether they are submitting their teams.

Mostly, however, my focus has now switched to the trek itself. Last weekend my flatmate got us lost on a walk and we ended up 'climbing' far more hills than we had intended. My legs got one hell of a workout, and while we only covered 13.4 miles in total, a lot of steep slopes were involved and my legs were aching for a couple of days. I also got rather sunburnt, and just generally felt quite sorry for myself all week. Then of course, there was the short amount of time when we were actually a little lost and found ourselves in a field littered with broken remains of clay pigeon shooting, clearly having blundered into some psycho farmers land. We were certain that if we were discovered he would have no qualms about shooting us (or setting dogs on us), so we retraced our steps sharpish and finally got back on the right track.

Despite all of this, it was an absolutely beautiful walk and I had such a good day, it was almost a shame when it ended (though not really because I thought I was going to die my legs were so tired). We even stopped off in Prestbury on the way home and had a carvery. What more could you ask for on a Sunday?

Last Tuesday I met with a Personal Trainer at my gym and we discussed what help I was looking for with my training. I'm meeting him again this Tuesday to get a programme, so I'm feeling good about that. Tom is lovely, by the way, and when he heard that I was doing this for charity he very sweetly gave me an amazing discount, which I have added to our fundraising total. I'll let you know how I get on with him this week, but first impressions tell me that Tom rules.

I was a little slack with training this week (it took a day or two to recover from last weekend's walk, then I had a busy week of 'things' to do), so I went for a walk on Friday after work, followed by another walk yesterday with flatmate and Katie. Katie and I have decided that we will try to train together more regularly, attempting to walk together at least every other weekend. Of course, this won't always be possible because she's on her hols this week, then I go away the week after, but one day we will actually manage to walk again.

Yesterday's walk was a little more eventful than the norm. We had an encounter with a pissed off landowner (flatmate has beautifully told him to 'go fuck himself', Katie and I awkwardly kept silent - I wish I could stand up for myself like Jo does), and we spent probably coming on for half an hour trying to rescue a poor sheep (Katie named him Gerald), who had got himself trapped in a fence. Of this, I have photos, here:

initially, we were all a little cautious 

but it wasn't long til we made friends

You will be pleased to know that while we didn't manage to free Gerry ourselves (despite a sterling effort by all involved), we then bravely (or not so bravely in the case of Jo and I who were nervous of dogs, Katie was the truest hero in this scenario) went up to a house to find out who the sheep belonged to so someone could go to the poor things rescue. After our encounter with the knob-head landowner, we walked back via the same path and were relieved to see that Gerry had been set free.

This morning I finished off the week with a visit to the gym. It was pretty uneventful, there were no psycho farmers or trapped sheep, so nothing to report really.

Another week is over, only 96 days until we leave. You know the score by now, if you haven't sponsored us yet, please do so by popping over to our fundraising page here.

watch the world spinning

Charity Challenge sent me an email last weekend, informing me that I had just 16 weeks left before the trek, which was most helpful. Please note the sarcasm in my tone there, because really the last thing I needed was an email telling me how many weeks there are to go and suggesting that maybe I should start sorting out equipment etc. I know that, thanks very much.

It has been a wee while since I wrote, and I have to admit that at the moment I am feeling a little overwhelmed. Life is as hectic as ever and it just doesn't seem to have received the message that I could really do with some smooth-sailing for a while so that I can focus on everything I need to do before September. Someone pointed out to me today that actually, 16 weeks is almost a third of a year so we have plenty of time, but think about the fact that we are pretty much in June already and Katie and I started this 'journey' (forgive my use of such a cheesy term) in January and maybe you will understand my panic.

I did not intend to come here this evening to write myself into a panic again. In fact, I have been attempting to take practical steps to organise my time better. This is all down to an Away Day I had to attend for work last week. There was a motivational speaker dude there (though he prefers to be known as something other than a motivational speaker, I forget what he calls himself) and despite my tendency to be a bit of a 'mood-hoover' and a definite cynic, I actually came away from the day feeling in a better place to get myself ready for this trip. It's bizarre and actually a little embarrassing for a sceptic like me to admit, but there it is.

I spent my weekend plotting out the next 16 weeks on an excel spreadsheet (yes, I am a nerd) and giving myself a rough timetable for exercise using a training schedule from the Charity Challenge site as a guide. There is a lot to be said for having a plan, and while it is incredibly rough and random, I no longer feel like I am just trundling along completely blind. I also downloaded an app to track my walks and on Sunday afternoon I walked up a hill and covered just over 7 miles in all. Not much when it comes down to it, but man did my legs get a good workout walking up some decent slopes.

I had hoped to get some walking in one evening this week, but the weather has taken a turn again and isn't looking promising until the weekend. I will therefore have to settle for another trip to the gym (I went this evening), though I also need to fit in a very important hair-cut at some point because I currently have a serious case of Boris Johnson hair and that needs to go.

With training progressing slowly, there is certainly more positive news to share in the fundraising stakes. With 108 days to go, the amount raised currently stands at £2487.87, with more money outstanding in 'promises'. My current focus is organising a quiz at work mid-June, though I am freaking out a little here too because my partner in crime is very inconsiderately going on holiday for a week and not getting back into the country until the day before the quiz. Fair warning to the rest of my colleagues, it is entirely possible that I will be calling on you to keep me calm. Anyone from SH, please, please, let me know you are planning to attend, get your teams together and give me your entrance fee as soon as you can so I have a good idea of numbers. I'm relying on you, guys (guests of the B-T wedding and of course the bride and groom are forgiven for not attending!).

I had some good news when I returned to work after the Bank Holiday this morning. Last week we were voting for the next Charity of the Year. The results were sent out this morning and I was overjoyed to discover that James Hopkins Trust won the staff vote and we will be fundraising for them for the next year. Thank you so much to any of my lovely CCG colleagues who may be reading and chose to vote JHT. I'm looking forward to a year of raising money for a cause so close to my heart. In fact, we start with a dress-down day tomorrow, which happens to coincide with James' anniversary. As we haven't had any volunteers to collect the money yet, this means I will be doing it myself and aiming to get a record amount for the 1st floor this month. Start the way we mean to go on.

I will end with the usual line. Please, if you haven't sponsored us yet and can spare a few pennies, hop on over to our fundraising page, http://www.bmycharity.com/twoblondesonemountain. Your support is greatly appreciated.

clap your hands

I have been pretty useless at writing an update over the last couple of weeks. I keep meaning to get round to it, but life has been hectic and things keep getting in the way.

With 120 days to go, I am once again starting to feel nervous about all the training and how completely not fit I am, but I know that there is still plenty of time to prepare. I just need to get my act together, keep motivated and learn how to make myself go to the gym or for a walk, even when there is nothing I want to do less.

Our fundraising is at a pretty amazing £2337.87, which is reassuring. As promised (though slightly delayed), this week I have been wearing a dress to work each day. I have mostly kept my promise of not moaning about it, though I have to admit I've probably slipped up a few times.

Anyway, here is today's dress, borrowed from a friend, which most people have agreed is their favourite of the week.

I'm not really made for this girly dress-wearing malarkey. Yesterday involved a very traumatic 'ladder' incident, and I desperately wandered around the building until I found someone who was going to tesco at lunch to pick up some new tights. I don't even know how I did it. I mean, one minute I was sat at my desk, happily working away and the next minute I saw THIS:

Very embarrassing. And seriously, no idea. Speaking of embarrassing, on the very same morning I was spotted walking through the car park on my way into work. That day's dress was rather short (you may be able to tell that from the photo. I apologise for showing so much leg), and I was wearing the aforementioned tights. By the time I walked through the door, one of my colleagues had persuaded everyone who was around at the time to stand at the door to greet me and applaud as I walked through the door. It was hilarious, but made me cringe. Yes, people, I HAVE LEGS. And with all this bloody gym work and walking I'm doing, admittedly they've never looked better. HA!

I'm going to finish up here for today, because it's late and I'm tired. Do me a favour and pop over to our fundraising page to sponsor me. After wearing dresses all week, I think I deserve it. It's for families like this Katie and I are doing this, so have a read and then donate.

Ta.

brighter than the sun

It always amazes me just how much a little bit of sunshine can lift my mood. As someone who is a bit of a mentalist, I have learned not to take those rare sunny days for granted. This afternoon I got out of work a little early, intending to head to the gym. Just as I was about to get off the bus, I had a call from Fi-Fi (my flatmate), insisting that it was far too lovely to be indoors, so she picked me up and we headed off on a walk up Leckhampton Hill.

Fi-Fi being Fi-Fi, she picked all the steepest paths and my legs got a thoroughly good workout trying to keep up with her as she bounded excitedly up the hill. To begin with I felt a little bad for not following through with my plan to go to the gym, but how could I really feel anything other than joy as I stood at the top of the hill, the sun shining down on me, warmth on my back. And really, walking up a hill is better training for me than sitting on a bike or rowing at the gym.

We walked on and came across some cows. Neither of us was entirely convinced that they wouldn't get spooked and charge at us (yes, you can call us wimps), so we took an alternative path just to be on the safe side. Of course, we were immediately confronted with another cow blocking our path, and just as I turned to Fi-Fi to ask which she thought was the least menacing, I spotted a wee calf clambering over the top of the slope, who was then joined by a second. There were many squeals of excitement (from me, obviously) and I managed to snap a quick photo of one of them, though I didn't get too close incase mummy cow got a bit overprotective and pushed me over the edge or something (yeah, ok, I'm a little scared of cows. So sue me).

Look! Baby cow!



Eventually we left the cows behind and continued onwards, finally returning to the car after an hour and a half of walking. It was an awesome way to finish off my day and I am hoping that the sunshine continues so that I can get some more walking done in the evenings. Flatmate and I are even considering getting up mega early some time and walking before work. I'm not sure how successful this will be, because I love my bed, but I'm willing to give it a go. I'd also like to do Snowdon at some point in the next couple of months.

My current good mood is about more than just the improving weather, though. I've got a lot in my life to be feeling positive about. I think I can speak for Katie too when I say that over the last four months, at times this challenge has felt overwhelming and we have both had some sleepless nights. For me, certainly, I switch from being stressed over the training to fundraising and back again. But fundraising-wise we are in a great position, with officially over £2000 raised (some yet to be added to our bmycharity tally) and lots of plans for future fundraising endeavours.

Our wine tasting evening last weekend went brilliantly and I have to say a HUGE thank you to Katie, Angela and everyone who came along to taste some wine and have a laugh. In fact, we couldn't have asked for a better result, and I even tasted a wine I liked (sadly at £30 a bottle I doubt I'll be drinking it again anytime in the near future - maybe we can treat ourselves and celebrate when we get back from Morocco, Katie?) I wish I had thought to take photos, but unfortunately I was so busy stressing about being a pourer and not dropping one of the bottles that the thought didn't even cross my mind. Next time, though.

And so, with the £2000 target met, I feel like my focus can switch back again to training. I had a good weekend in that respect too, with trips to the gym on Friday and Saturday, and a 5+ hour walk up to Cleeve Common on Sunday. 

This is absolutely achievable, guys. It's going to be hard work, I know that, but I'm feeling motivated and positive and like I could take on the world at the moment. So please, keep sponsoring us and supporting us, because that's what keeps us going and gets to the gym after a long and exhausting day at work.

If you haven't sponsored us yet, but would like to, why not do it RIGHT NOW and follow this link... go on, go on, go on, go on, go on!

put on that dress

I hadn't intended to leave it so long before blogging again, but life has been a little hectic lately. I can't believe we're coming up for the end of April. How have Katie and I been planning this for 4 months already?! That is a truly frightening thought, and probably a sign that I should be stepping up my training. I've just added a countdown to the blog, and it says we have 148 days until we leave. 148 days! 

Training has been going ok-ish, I have been forcing myself to go to the gym, though not as often as I probably should. But I've been twice since Sunday and on Saturday I'm going to do some hill walking with my flatmate, which will be good for me. A couple of my friends have been hassling me that I'm not training hard enough yet. Apparently, it's time for me to get some help from a professional and build up my strength so that I can cope with carrying my pack (this is your reminder... advice, please). Admittedly, I am going to have to work on this, but I think part of me is in denial. One minute I think 148 days is ages away and plenty of time to get sorted, then I realise that actually, it really isn't and it's time to get cracking.

Let's move on for now and allow me to continue to live in my happy bubble of denial for a little longer. Fundraising is going really well. We are currently at £1630 (not counting the gift aid JHT will receive on top of that!) and I am mega proud of me and Katie for reaching halfway to our target already. Of course, we don't plan on stopping at £3100, and we are keen to surpass that amount by as much as possible, so don't let the fact that we are doing well stop you from sponsoring us *cough cough*

This Saturday is our Champagne and Sparkling Wine Tasting evening and Katie has done a magnificent job in making it all happen. We've sold 39 tickets and are looking at making a tidy profit to add to our tally and it won't be long before we hit the £2000 mark. You may not remember the significance of this, but I'm nothing if not honest. Everyone is well aware that the lovely Ms Motivator is the brains of this little duo, and I am the comic relief. So far I have gone ginger (my hair will be going blonde again imminently) and humiliated myself in a onesie. However, I did say that when we reached £2000 I would wear a dress to work every day for a week and not complain about it (those who know me well will realise that this is quite a challenge for me). So, if you want to witness that hilarity sooner rather than later, maybe it's time for YOU to sponsor us! Look, I'll even supply you with the link again to make it easy for you to give us your money. CLICK ME.

This means it is time for me to start sourcing dresses to wear. I don't really want to spend too much money on dresses I will never wear again, so this is a call for anyone who is a size 8/10 (probably mostly size 8) who would be prepared to lend me a dress that won't make me look like a twat. I mean, I'll feel like one anyway, but it would be good to wear dresses that aren't completely ridiculous and not very 'me', you know?
The next question has to be, what on earth am I going to do to celebrate reaching our £3100 target? I mean, I've gone ginger, I've worn a dress... how else can I humiliate myself?! Suggestions, as ever, gratefully received.

more than you'll ever know

I have had another frustrating week with regards to training as I was struck down yet again by a miserable cold. I'm just about over the worst of it now, but still doping myself up with lemsips and working my way through packets of tissues like there's no tomorrow.

The week was not completely wasted, however, and on Thursday Katie and I put ourselves through the torture of having our photograph taken for the local paper. This was upsetting for me on many levels. I'm never much of a one for being photographed, but add in the fact that I am currently ginger and that this was for the paper and if it's even possible I was less enthusiastic than ever at the prospect of standing in front of a camera.

The photographer came to meet us during our lunch break at work. He decided that it would be a brilliant idea for the photos to be taken outside where the light was better, despite the fact that it was cold, windy and (lightly) snowing. I didn't have my coat, and Katie didn't want to be photographed in hers, so we stood outside, teeth chattering in the middle of the car park as some of my colleagues watched on laughing from the window. Poor Katie's hair was blowing everywhere and unbeknownst to me my hair was also a little all over the place. Thankfully he wasted no time and Katie checked and approved the photos (there was no way I wanted to see them, thanks very much) so the whole ordeal was relatively quick and painless.

Once that was over I had to tackle answering the journalists questions. Initially this wasn't a problem, the questions were standard and easy, all apart from one which I found a little more difficult to answer. I had intended to get Katie to help me, but I soon realised that there was no way she could help me with this, just as she couldn't help me when I was caught completely off-guard by the photographer asking me how old I was when my brother was alive and how well I knew him. You see, here's the thing. I don't mind talking to people about this kind of stuff and I have been answering questions like this for the last 24 years. That's ok, people are curious and interested and I'm hardly going to lie when the inevitable "do you have any siblings" question comes up and say that I don't have any brothers. But really, it isn't something I talk about much, and then only with people I know and trust and almost always on my terms. Even then, most of the time I will just brush over it with something along the lines of "it's fine, it was a long time ago", which is obviously a lie because it's hardly fine. 

Anyway. I tackled the question, got a couple of people I trusted to look at it for me and sent it all back to the journalist (a little later than she'd wanted it). She came back with two more questions, which I suppose I wasn't all that surprised about, but I really wasn't sure I could answer. Worse, she wanted a response within a couple of hours and I was at work, a place where I hardly wanted to be thinking about "my memories of James, what happened, how it affected me as his sister and whether he was still a big part of my life because of the Trust". She understood why I wasn't sure this was something I could respond to at work, told me I didn't have to answer because her deadline was lunchtime. But the questions were sat there in my inbox, and I couldn't help but think about them so to get it from my mind I quickly wrote something down without thinking about it too much and sent it back to her (after, once again, getting Katie to read it for me) before blocking it from my mind.

That evening, I got a couple of messages from people because the article had appeared online. It's here, if you haven't seen it yet. I haven't read it. So there we go. This is an example of me talking about it on my own terms and asking that you don't bring it up unless I do, though you are of course perfectly at liberty to rip the absolute piss out of how gay my hair looks.

To conclude. It wasn't the most successful of weeks, hopefully next time I write I will have some better news to report with regards to my training and I will have kicked this stupid cold for good.

Also, a reminder that you can get tickets to come to our champagne and wine tasting evening on 20 April by messaging either myself or Katie and you can of course always sponsor us by clicking here.